Jon Steingard, the long-time lead singer of the Christian music band Hawk Nelson, introduced on Instagram that he not believes in God.
Steingard stated that he had been terrified to put in writing the submit for some time, however he wished to be clear. He additionally defined that he didn’t wish to debate with anybody, however encourage others who felt that their religion was waning.
In response to a touch upon Hawk Nelson’s web site, Steingard’s bandmates knew that he had been struggling for some time:
As a few of you realize Jon and Jess launched into the household life this 12 months with the addition of Lil G, aka Gray. He’s the bomb diggity, however after no sleep and plenty of adjusting, I noticed it take a toll on Jon personally. I knew household was extra vital than this album, so I requested him to place all of it on maintain. Possibly without end, possibly till it was proper. These guys I get to share this band with, are household. And household ought to all the time come first. It made me query simply how exhausting we ought to be pushing to “make” this album … However Jon blew me away, once more, as he does each album. He doubled down. We and also you and all obtained deep into prayer and requested for assist.
Steingard Joined Hawk Nelson In 2004
In response to Steingard, he was a pastor’s baby and grew up with Christianity having a significant affect in his life since childhood. Steingard was the oldest of three kids and he began studying the way to play the guitar when he was 9 years previous, in response to Information Launch Right this moment.
Steingard grew to become the lead singer of the punk-pop Christian band Hawk Nelson in 2004, Information Launch Right this moment reported. He was 20 years previous, he stated in his submit, and the band didn’t begin out overtly Christian, however finally grew to become that approach. The band had really began in 2000 when lead singer Jason Dunn, guitarist Davin Clark and drummer Matt Paige began a bunch known as SWISH, in response to Tidal. In 2002, Daniel Biro grew to become the group’s new bass participant and the group modified its title. In 2004, Steingard — additionally a guitarist — changed David Clark and he grew to become the lead vocalist when Jason Dunn left the group in 2012.
Steingard married Jessica Hubbard in March of 2007 they usually lived in Nashville, Tennessee, in response to Information Launch Right this moment. The couple moved to San Diego, California the place they at present dwell. Steingard can also be a filmmaker and director at Steingard Inventive.
Steingard Mentioned His Doubts Started In His Youth
Steingard stated his household was all the time concerning the church and grew up with a shared perception so “central to all the things, you merely undertake it.” Steingard stated that he was an ardent follower of Christianity, praying for indicators and collaborating in church, youth teams, conferences and ministry. Nevertheless, even then, he stated he was disturbed by a number of the issues he noticed:
Praying in public all the time felt like some form of bizarre efficiency artwork. Emotional cries corresponding to “Holy Spirit come fill this place” all the time felt clunky and awkward leaving my lips. A youth convention I attended inspired each teen to signal a pledge that they’d “date Jesus” for a 12 months. It felt manipulative and unsettling to me. I didn’t signal it.
Steingard stated he reflexively ignored his doubts and thought he was overthinking it. Nevertheless, he stated he finally began questioning the issue of evil and particularly, “pure evil” — hurricanes, illness, and many others.
He stated he grew to become disturbed by how God’s change in demeanor from the Outdated Testomony to the New Testomony in addition to how a lot killing he realized was part of the Bible. He additionally stated he was disturbed about contradictions he discovered within the Bible and was dissatisfied with the solutions he obtained.
I used to be asking a few verse in 1 Timothy that appears actually oppressive of ladies. It signifies that ladies shouldn’t be in church management, shouldn’t train males and shouldn’t put on their hair in braids. To me, that appeared much less just like the message of the loving God that the majority Christians consider in now, and extra just like the concepts that might have been current within the tradition on the time … a male-dominated society the place ladies had been handled much less like equals and extra like property.
Steingard stated his father-in-law, additionally a pastor, advised him to learn the Bible in its authentic Greek. However Steingard stated the thought that the Bible was imperfect despatched him spiraling right into a melancholy.
As soon as I discovered that I didn’t consider the Bible was the right Phrase of God — it didn’t take lengthy to understand that I used to be not certain he was there in any respect. That thought terrified me. It despatched me right into a tailspin … Over the previous 12 months I’ve often talked about publicly my struggles with melancholy. That is what actually kicked that off.
He stated questions on his religion, and particularly what he ought to train his kids, “led me into a really darkish place for some time.”
Steingard Mentioned His Perception In Christianity Slowly Pale Additional time
In his submit, Steingard stated he may not cover the wrestle he was having together with his religion and felt like it might be disingenuous to withhold it, describing it as a sweater that unraveled over time:
The method of attending to that sentence has been a number of years within the making. It didn’t occur in a single day or rapidly. It’s been extra like pulling on the threads of a sweater, and sooner or later discovering that there was no extra sweater left.
He additionally stated that he was “surprised” by what number of different Christians he knew who felt the identical. Steingard famous that with the band being much less productive, he had much less to lose — “… we’ve all discovered different work and careers to deal with in the interim. With a purpose to ensure I’m in a position to preserve offering for my household, that needed to be the case earlier than I may very well be completely trustworthy — and that truth is without doubt one of the points I’ve with the church and Christian tradition on the whole.”
Steingard additionally stated that he was not mendacity throughout his profession in Christian music, however finally, the threads of doubt that he was experiencing grew to become an excessive amount of for him.
Steingard stated that he is aware of his household is grieving due to his choice, however have nonetheless proven him “unbelievable love and help.”
Steingard stated that he was open to the concept God was there, but when he was there, he believes that he’s completely different from what he was taught. He stated that he and his spouse felt like Christianity was extra of an obligation than a calling.
We didn’t take pleasure in going to church. We didn’t take pleasure in studying the Bible. We didn’t take pleasure in praying. We didn’t take pleasure in worship. All of it felt like obligation, and our lack of enthusiasm about these issues all the time made us really feel like one thing was unsuitable with us. Now I don’t consider something was unsuitable with us. We merely didn’t consider — and we had been too afraid to confess that to ourselves. So in that sense, we’ve an amazing sense of reduction now.
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